![]() Like I said, don’t quote me on that, part of Breen’s appeal is his awful direction in the name of making some deep, symbolic pseudo-intellectual statement the audience will never, ever get.Īfter that, we cut to present day. The kids take out an obvious gift-shop magnet, stating it’s “buried treasure” and then deposit some of Mia’s beads into the mushroom box before leaving, I guess as an offering to appease that ghost from earlier. Oh yeah, also there’s a shot of a ghost in there I guess. His companion, a girl addressed earlier as Mia, gives him an absolutely glassy, lifeless stare before proclaiming offscreen “It’s a magical day!”. One of them aggressively points his hands at a mushroom, which through an also excruciatingly long fade effect transforms into an ornate glass box. They’re in the woods, having a merry old time. Supposedly, the film is about a guy finding government secrets with magic powers, but I’m assuming this premise was like the outline for a Mad Libs script: you just kind fill the rest up with random nonsense throughout.Īfter two excruciatingly long minutes of credits over industrial stock footage, there’s some kids. I’ve seen this movie twice now and I still don’t know what’s going on. So how does the film start? Interesting question. It is a fitting facade for what waits within. It features the three main leads staring directly into the camera in various positions cropped from the bust-up like a bad 80’s family photo, while decorative plumes of mysterious green energy and poorly copy-pasted laptop stock photos anoint the background around them. If you were somehow not already put off by its extremely small release and small-time director, the cover art itself should let you know what you’re in for. Because I feel like you really need to see this. Yet, it still remains a relatively unknown contender in the ever-growing list of worst films ever. The 2013 film, from bad-track-record indie director and star Neil Breen, garnered a small but prominent fan following after the sheer baffling incompetence of it gained internet infamy. Government corruption.įateful Findings is all at once many things, and yet somehow absolutely nothing at all.
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